abide.

I was recently reminded of something by someone who I have watched live out the save advice she gave to me.  Abide in Him.  This past semester, really life post May, has been one heaping serving after another of loneliness, vulnerability, insecurity and that suffocating feeling of drowning all at once.  Abide.  What does that look like?  Is there a certain way abiding is supposed to feel?  I have not been as diligent about keeping up my postings as I would like to have been, partly due to that whole vulnerability thing.  I do want to catch up on a few of the wonderfully beautiful, hard, and even painful times over the past few months.  Warning: this is mainly for my own emotional health, so feel free to jump ship at any point.  I know I will value this in years to come.  The Lord is always so sweet to show us he has always been walking with us- even in the loneliest of times.

 On my flight back to Birmingham after the last final was finished and all bags were packed, I sat in the airplane unable to even read for fear my head would explode attempting to gain any more knowledge.  I thought a lot.  About the past few months, the people whom I have met, the places I have seen, the things I have learned.  I came to a conclusion.  Moving to Philadelphia was the best decision I have ever made.  Moving 1,000 miles away from anything that resembled comfort, being known, or familiarity not only built my character, but it gave me some of the most incredible time with the most incredible King.  For the first time in my life, I was a stranger to anyone with in a 400-mile radius of myself.  The thought of this kind of adventure my senior year at Auburn thrilled me.  But when I found myself face to face with he reality of it, I don’t know that I have ever felt so scared.  Scared.  That is not an adjective I have used for myself very often at all.  But I think perfect strangers in the grocery store could see it in my face. 

I can look back now on my first semester with confidence that the Lord was walking every step with me.  No longer having the crutch of the things I had worked for so long to define me, I not only leaned but was carried through by a God who so faithfully abided with me.  I made the conscious decision in the spring to move to Philadelphia.  I did not have people twisting my arm to go.  It was my honest choice.  I thank God that He did lead me here.  My life needed the total abandonment of those crutches in such a big way.  I needed to be a plane ride away.  I needed to have to say no social things back home.  I needed to learn who Leigh Hendry was and who she is in the Father when she stands on her own two feet.  Westminster has proved to be without a doubt the most discouraging time in my entire life.  And praise God for that!  I have truly never been so humbled, so broken and empty as I have been here.   With that being said, I have never before experienced the Lord’s mercies as I have in my time here either.  The ability to find peace in my inadequacies, strength in my weaknesses, and triumph in my sin has been so bluntly in my face it leaves me tear stained.  How small we are and what a great God we serve!  I am only a forth of the way done here and it excites me to know I have only just begun.

My biggest fear in moving up here was being forgotten about.  I think on many different levels I wanted to keep my plates spinning in Birmingham, in Auburn, and shoot- a part of me is still in Branson, MO.  Not only has God so faithfully wrapped His loving arms around my heart, but I have felt so loved by those not here.  As anyone who knows me well can tell you, I struggle sometimes with being in touch with reality.  I tend to picture my life in this ideal fantasy world where all reigns good and happy at the end of the movie.  Philly has given me a firm grasp of reality- but I must say my reality is a very blessed one.  I have learned in very practical ways how to love others well.  How to be intentional in relationships and that fighting for some is not wrong.  I think the fighting is what has left me feeling insecure some of the time.  But it is also what has grown my heart to love others better.  By not setting expectations for how I want others to pursue me and instead learning how to pursue them as they need to be loved has unlocked an entirely new world.  To love is such a gift.  And just because I am miles and miles away doesn’t change the goodness of it.  It just makes those condensed moments of time that much sweeter.     

Mom encouraged me to read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and it encourages you to live fully by living in the moments.  What a lesson that was and still is for me to continue seeking.  I traveled the world this past summer.  I saw worlds thousands of years old and climbed to some of the most beautiful sights ever seen.  I realized though in those wonderful moments I was not actually in that moment.  I was either looking at it through my camera lens or planning the next great thing I would be off too.  What a cheated way to go through life.  I am grateful to have learned such a rewarding lesson while I am still young.  Philadelphia has been so full of moments.  It’s the moment my car leaves the smooth paved road and enters the choppy cobblestone where I am reminded of the history under my feet.  It’s the moment in lecture where the professor opens class with a hymn and all 200 students rise and lift their voices in worship to the One whom we serve.  It’s the moments spent with the O’Farrells, all six of those beautiful faces, playing red light green light in the driveway or someone crawling up into my lap to give  a kiss on the cheek because I am their ‘best friend’.  It’s that moment when I walk outside for the first time that day and it has snowed…and the grocery stores are still fully stocked.  It’s just the moments.  The moments spent here above the Mason Dixon are not weird, or bad.  It’s not a case of temporary time to get through.  It is such an obviously crafted and intentionally planned time in my life to learn about myself by learning about the world I live in.  Alabama will always be my roots.  And without roots, one cannot grow.  But Philadelphia is proving to be my wings and with out wings you cannot fly.  I am so grateful for a community and home that I can call my roots.  Because without those roots I would not be growing into the person I hope to become.

So, needless to say my flight from Philly to the Big Salty Ham was time well spent…in more ways than one.  I felt for the first time I was leaving home to go home.  That oxymoron left me so happy.  I was not running away from a life to find a place to retreat in another.  It was an epiphany that left my heart happy and full.  Abiding in doing His will and all in all accepting this life as such a wonderful gift of moments.

I thought I would share just a few pictures of my recent life happenings.  Philly really is a wonderful place.  I am always open for visitors!  Just consider this a small Philly add.

                                       Introducing....THE O'FARRELLS!!!!! (well, 4 of the 6 at least)

The youngest O'Farrell kiddos.  Juliet (3) and BElle, Michael (11) as Michael Phelps, Ryan (8) as Ryan Lochte, and Christina (9) and an olympic gymnast.  Pretty creative kids, huh?

This girl.  (Juliet 3)

Drama...mostly.

                                        

                                                Juliet (3) just being a handful.  Really love her spunk though.

          

             Playing in the driveway on a beautiful sunny day.
What Miss Wee and Juliet do best!

Our first little snow of the winter.  It didn't really stick much, but I still had a blast
drinking tea and staring out the window at it.

Morgan and Mary Caylor visited from DC and it could not have been
more beautiful fall weather!  It was so great to have friends in town.

My sweet, sweet YoungLife girls flew in on their Fall Break
to spend time with me.  Can not tell you how much it mean!

They absolutely love playing on my phone.  I end up with tons of pictures like these
...and I don't delete a single one! 

Had to go to a Phillies game.  It really is so beautiful in the stadium
...and on a clear day like this you just see what a beautiful city it is!

So I voted as a Pennsylvania resident.  Doing my civic duty as a little red dot.

The fam jam joined me in PA for Thanksgiving.
Loved showing them around especially since this was Molly
and Margaret Anne's first time in Philly.

Took a day trip into New York.  Was SUCH a beautiful fall day!

We had so much fun getting to visit with each other.

Dad treated us to a wonderful lunch in New York City.  We like to do it big.

We just being so much energy to the city.
We tried for a stroll through Central Park with the hot dogs,
but opted out for the bench instead.

I think they are cute.

Thanksgiving lunch out in Lancaster County.

Center City Philly

Typical.  We like to think of it as The City of Sisterly Love.

My city.  Perfect.

It's not all fun and games.  9 times out of 10 I eat by myself.  
I know, all the cool kids are doing it though.

On the bright side, I did win "Tackiest" at the Westminster Christmas party.
Made mom proud.

We do.  It's true.  Love my roomie and love Philly!

Lucy, myself, Erin and Lauren after church one afternoon in the city
experiencing all the Christmas cheer.

Train is good.  (Except when you are packing to be home for 3 weeks
and there are no southern gentlemen who offer to help you.)  We were quite the spectacle.

Visited Kelsey in NYC on weekend in January and got to stay in the
New York Athletic Club.  Pretty neat experience.

Evening stroll in Central Park with Kels.  Fun/ random trip to the city.

Yeah, so then I turned 23.  I am SO much closer to being able to rent a car!
Cheers to that and Happy Happy to me!